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Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
"the whole world is a work of art"
tomorrow i'm taking owen to camp nana & papa so i can write in a quiet house, distraction free, and bring five years of research and writing and reading to a close--or a hiatus of some sorts. and i want to remember the writing process as learning how to write with--indeed being inspired by--a precocious four year old who leaves dinosaurs from the late creaceous under my books and stickies covered in zeroes to remind me of infinity on my keyboard. . .
when we took s-dog out for a walk this afternoon i explained that mama was nearly finished with her "book" and just needed a couple of days to check the sentences and write the conclusion. rather than simply mm-hmming me he engaged what had only recently come to the fore--my writing life.
oh, well mom, what's your favorite chapter?
hmmm, i think it would have to be virginia woolf.
oh, i thought your WHOLE book was on virginia woolf.
well, she's very important. but i have other chapters too.
oh, tell me about each chapter.
. . . and so owen can perhaps say more about twentieth century women writers than many of my college students could. . .
and when i told him i'd still have to finish the book he nodded and said:
oh, you mean like put a pretty cover on it and staple it together and make an index.
exactly.
and after the walk, after paninis for dinner, while looking through his favorite of the dinsoaur encylopedias (the dk pocket super book from uncle ryan) he suddenly closed his book:
mom. you have to finish your book. because you need to write another one.
i smiled.
you need to write an encyclopedia of flowers. here (flipping through the dk book) like this--see how it has a table of contents, and a glossary. you could do one like this, but about flowers.
and it isn't all like this, of course, but this is want i want to remember. this is exactly the moment virginia would mark as a shock--it is this moment i'm pasting right from my woolf chapter:
This moment at the window is indeed what Woolf had been defining as a moment of being— “that the individual in his daily life is cut off from ‘reality’ but at rare moments receives a shock’” . . .of transcendent vision—the definition of which she added to throughout her writing life. In “Sketch of the Past” she explains her philosophy “that behind the cotton wool is hidden a pattern; that we—I mean all human beings—are connected with this; that the whole world is a work of art”
when we took s-dog out for a walk this afternoon i explained that mama was nearly finished with her "book" and just needed a couple of days to check the sentences and write the conclusion. rather than simply mm-hmming me he engaged what had only recently come to the fore--my writing life.
oh, well mom, what's your favorite chapter?
hmmm, i think it would have to be virginia woolf.
oh, i thought your WHOLE book was on virginia woolf.
well, she's very important. but i have other chapters too.
oh, tell me about each chapter.
. . . and so owen can perhaps say more about twentieth century women writers than many of my college students could. . .
and when i told him i'd still have to finish the book he nodded and said:
oh, you mean like put a pretty cover on it and staple it together and make an index.
exactly.
and after the walk, after paninis for dinner, while looking through his favorite of the dinsoaur encylopedias (the dk pocket super book from uncle ryan) he suddenly closed his book:
mom. you have to finish your book. because you need to write another one.
i smiled.
you need to write an encyclopedia of flowers. here (flipping through the dk book) like this--see how it has a table of contents, and a glossary. you could do one like this, but about flowers.
and it isn't all like this, of course, but this is want i want to remember. this is exactly the moment virginia would mark as a shock--it is this moment i'm pasting right from my woolf chapter:
This moment at the window is indeed what Woolf had been defining as a moment of being— “that the individual in his daily life is cut off from ‘reality’ but at rare moments receives a shock’” . . .of transcendent vision—the definition of which she added to throughout her writing life. In “Sketch of the Past” she explains her philosophy “that behind the cotton wool is hidden a pattern; that we—I mean all human beings—are connected with this; that the whole world is a work of art”
Friday, February 26, 2010
valentine outtakes
while i can no longer put owen in a onesie and douse him with cupid hearts making valentines is still an annual highlight. not only has owen's scissor, paste and paper skills improved (i still remember painting his hands with red tempura only to watch him lick the paint off and decide footprints would do just as well) but his crafting know-how has become quite impressive. we had watched several martha how-to videos and opted not to make the embracing pop-up card (but did consider pop-up triceratops and trex) and passed on the frilly doilies and sweetheart candies. we liked the accordian-style cards and had plotted a witty dinosaur message (they're extinct but not valentine's day--or something to that effect). but while writing "special" valentines for daddy owen had so much fun writing "fancy" that we went sweet and old-fashioned. hand-writing the dozen names and messages were easy--but the photos? well, he is a four year old boy. here are the outtakes--which really speak for themselves. the final cut was actually taken later, outside, smiling for our neighbor stella (who is five and much cuter than mommy).
pancake party
while we were up in p-town last week i dug through a stack of connie's everyday food magazines and found this pancake how-to article i made the whole-grain with yogurt variation with some minor pantry alterations (light sour cream for yogurt and additional whole wheat flour for the cornmeal). we enjoyed these hearty muffin-y cakes with some homemade raspberry jam (thanks kami's grandma!) and some fresh blueberries.
they were so tasty i made them again this morning while owen made fresh squeezed juice (tangerines, blood oranges, and navels from nana & papa's "grove") and michael got the french press going with some peet's sumatra blue batak (we'll be sad when it goes).
i followed the recipe including cornmeal and used fage 0 greek yogurt. they were nutty, earthy, healthy and dee-lish! top with yogurt, berries (we always keep tj's wild organic blueberries in the freezer for such an occassion! costco also blessed us with some gorgeous, inexpensive raspberries), toasted nuts and enjoy a breakfast party! highly recommended.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The power of advertising
O: mom, I think Riverside is the coolest city on the world!
M: oh, why is that?
O: because remember all of those signs that say "nobody beats riverside"? That's why.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
M: oh, why is that?
O: because remember all of those signs that say "nobody beats riverside"? That's why.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
carrying notebooks
buzz, post, twit, blog? i confess, it has me all feeling a bit. . . discombobulated. it's like anna's notebooks in lessing's the golden notebook although i'm not quite sure which is the green and which is the red
(although some of my favorite people carry a tote for the sole purpose of multiple notebooks--i myself need a mulit-pack of pilot precise V5 pens--the one with turquoise and pink and purple in it)
(and looking for a book link i just found this fascinating group reading of the novel--somehow seems appropriate and of course i'm thinking--ok, these are the kinds of "post dissertation projects" that exicte me).
but what selve in what place? although, despite the more "public" forum the blog, this space anyhow, feels more private, more familial, more personal, more narrative. whereas the posts and the buzzes are spurts, links, quick snaps. or at least that's how it's come to be to this hyphenated existence. but these buzzes are a way to check in, stay connected, be part of a thread especially when i'm spending so much time writing so intensely, and i admit, so narrowly. the blog, this space, though, is more document, testament, personal narrative that somehow seems indulgent when i'm on word count--with 3 chapters completed at at least one more to go in the dissertation and the family tag teaming in this final stretch.
of course the journey, the narrative is important. the balance of mothering creatively and writing intensely, of outlining theoretical queries on post enlightenment lacan and of taking a bucket of sand toys to baby beach. it's the balance between the ready made trader joe's chicken pot pie (which, by the way, is phenomenal!) and the sweet first pick of george's strawberries bought from the farm zested with the first lemon from our potted tree. so i guess i answered my query--and reminded of the things i've been collecting for this space. the story behind the red velvet cupcakes (which were not red at all but a beautiful muddy purple) and the frame by frame of my little chef cracking the eggs and scooping the flour (and of my four year old proudly moving laundry from washer to dryer) and the gorgeous simples-worthy toppings (and the simple, healthy recipe) to the black bean chili (from the purple cooking light!). the food and the love, and the sadness and the loss that is part of the celebration (the trip we're taking to p-town to remember kind grandpa fidler and how in the midst of this sadness i'm so wonderfully relieved to have this time with michael's family). . .
and as i feel a bit less chaotic (although if you're still reading this you may be feeling a bit vertiginous yourself) i'm reminded of a quote i've often use as an epigraph to my syllabus for english 1a--something to the effect of i write to know what i'm thinking, how i'm feeling and where i'm going. so i write to exist, to think, to create, to share. to start that thread, to find the window when the door isn't apparent. so no, writing here isn't a distraction from writing there and writing here, i think, helps me get there--because i know i certainly am not going this journey alone. thanks for listening. and reading. and being part of the adventure. . .
(although some of my favorite people carry a tote for the sole purpose of multiple notebooks--i myself need a mulit-pack of pilot precise V5 pens--the one with turquoise and pink and purple in it)
(and looking for a book link i just found this fascinating group reading of the novel--somehow seems appropriate and of course i'm thinking--ok, these are the kinds of "post dissertation projects" that exicte me).
but what selve in what place? although, despite the more "public" forum the blog, this space anyhow, feels more private, more familial, more personal, more narrative. whereas the posts and the buzzes are spurts, links, quick snaps. or at least that's how it's come to be to this hyphenated existence. but these buzzes are a way to check in, stay connected, be part of a thread especially when i'm spending so much time writing so intensely, and i admit, so narrowly. the blog, this space, though, is more document, testament, personal narrative that somehow seems indulgent when i'm on word count--with 3 chapters completed at at least one more to go in the dissertation and the family tag teaming in this final stretch.
of course the journey, the narrative is important. the balance of mothering creatively and writing intensely, of outlining theoretical queries on post enlightenment lacan and of taking a bucket of sand toys to baby beach. it's the balance between the ready made trader joe's chicken pot pie (which, by the way, is phenomenal!) and the sweet first pick of george's strawberries bought from the farm zested with the first lemon from our potted tree. so i guess i answered my query--and reminded of the things i've been collecting for this space. the story behind the red velvet cupcakes (which were not red at all but a beautiful muddy purple) and the frame by frame of my little chef cracking the eggs and scooping the flour (and of my four year old proudly moving laundry from washer to dryer) and the gorgeous simples-worthy toppings (and the simple, healthy recipe) to the black bean chili (from the purple cooking light!). the food and the love, and the sadness and the loss that is part of the celebration (the trip we're taking to p-town to remember kind grandpa fidler and how in the midst of this sadness i'm so wonderfully relieved to have this time with michael's family). . .
and as i feel a bit less chaotic (although if you're still reading this you may be feeling a bit vertiginous yourself) i'm reminded of a quote i've often use as an epigraph to my syllabus for english 1a--something to the effect of i write to know what i'm thinking, how i'm feeling and where i'm going. so i write to exist, to think, to create, to share. to start that thread, to find the window when the door isn't apparent. so no, writing here isn't a distraction from writing there and writing here, i think, helps me get there--because i know i certainly am not going this journey alone. thanks for listening. and reading. and being part of the adventure. . .
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
a pleistocene zootastic adventure!
owen prefaced his comments at breakfast this morning with: "experts believe . . ." and enlightened us on the connections between birds and dinosaurs, the predatory habits of california condors and suggested a parksosaurus would make a fine pet (he's an herbivore so he wouldn't eat sierradog and not so big that he'd put a hole in the roof). this comes, of course, from careful study of dinosaur encylopedias but also from fantastic hands-on expeditions like elephant odyssey at the san diego zoo.
yesterday i joined the boys in what was originally an owen/dad trip but since i had sent off my three chapters on deadline (whoohoo!) it seemed a perfect time for a family expedition. i learned that the challenge of finding a giant trex at the natural history museum wasn't for lack of fossils-but that we see wooly mammoths and saber tooths because california has a rich abundance of fossils from the pleistocene era. when you enter the exhibit you go back - back- back in time 12 thousand years ago and stumble upon a tar pit as well as cavernous rock rich with everything from horse to flamingo fossils. i know along my twenty year educational journey this was all explained to me but there's nothing like following the lead of an inquisitive 4 year old to give life to these bits of rock and bone.
at the end of the trail is a great hands-on play area with extinct animal xrays, a fossil excavation site and the option to try on a zookeeper conservationist hat--this is probably my favorite picture:
but this crazy shot (look out for the archaeoraptor cousin!) makes me happy too:
and if spending a beautiful san diego morning over balboa park in elephant nirvana wasn't enough we met lily and jennifer at the flamingos and watched the monkeys before heading back home.
i posted my favorite pics up on FB but i also put the slideshow from our picassa off to the side, if like me, you can't possibly get enough pictures!
at the end of the trail is a great hands-on play area with extinct animal xrays, a fossil excavation site and the option to try on a zookeeper conservationist hat--this is probably my favorite picture:
and if spending a beautiful san diego morning over balboa park in elephant nirvana wasn't enough we met lily and jennifer at the flamingos and watched the monkeys before heading back home.
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